"But What About Those Who Can't Leave?" Grappling with Guilt
Leaving the US doesn't have to mean abandoning people and communities
Elizabeth Silleck La Rue
11/10/20251 min read
“I can’t leave knowing that others don’t have the privilege of doing so.”
“I feel like I should stay and fight.”
All valid, honorable sentiments and feelings. Knowing that the place you’re leaving behind is becoming less safe, more brutal, and characterized by more scarcity and ugliness is painful.
It crushes us at times - the harsh reality of our home countries after we leave.
It’s something I remember seeing in the eyes of my former (faux) mother-in-law, who came from Jamaica, and my friend’s Cuban father. It’s what drives so many immigrants inside the US to ship barrels full of goods and cash remittances home and to feel obligated, for better or worse, to risk their own immigration status to help family members. It’s why so many immigrants in the US host distant relatives’ children for entire summers, to their own detriment. In some cases, it’s why, rather than exploring new places, all “vacation” funds go to trips “back home.” I grew up with immigrants and first-generationers for whom this was a fact of life.
The sense of obligation. Not quite “survivor’s” guilt, but close.
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